Closure, with white gloves on

Bonjour tout le monde –
A couple of weeks ago I got a friend request that actually gave me that jolt-in-the-stomach lurchy feeling when I saw the person’s name. I took a couple of weeks to contemplate how to respond in a ladylike and concise fashion. Today I sent this, and I am feeling a warm sense of closure and satisfaction. I might send a copy of this to Miss Manners (one of my favorite authors – as a child I loved to read her books. I also loved to alphabetize my own books, which were also sorted into non-fiction, by category, and fiction. It’s a wonder I ever made a friend – but I did: in tenth grade! Thanks, Laura!). This is what I wrote:
“Dear ***Mabel, (***not her real name)
I was surprised to get your friend request. In case you’ve forgotten how we lost touch, let me summarize what I experienced: you (my dearest friend in college) and I moved to New York the summer after college to explore the big city. Instead I spent the summer alone in our sublet on 186th Street, looking after your cat, while you spent the summer with a guy you hooked up with in our second week there, who had a nice downtown apartment. After our summer sublet ended and I moved back to Virginia, you and your boyfriend spoke to my mother on the phone and told her the following:
a) that you would not be paying me back for any of the household bills, which I had rather naively paid for both of us
b) that I had been stealing money from you, and
c) that she had no idea what kind of person I really was.
Of these statements, only the first one had any truth to it. Luckily my mother knows me well and didn’t believe you. That didn’t make the whole experience much less sad and sickening for me. And that was the last I ever heard from you.
Months later a mutual friend from college heard what had happened and said, “Oh, didn’t you know Mabel’s a pathological liar?” I hadn’t known, unfortunately for me.
Whoever and whatever you are now, I hope you treat both your friends and your animals better these days. I hope I made it clear why I have no desire to be either your actual or virtual friend.
As for your writing to me “I am so happy to have finally found you!”: I’ve worked as a performer ever since college. If you had done a google search for my name, you’d have seen that my website is the fourth link listed. You can’t have looked very hard.

I think Miss Manners would be very proud. She would probably tell me to go have some lunch, and a mango popsicle. So that is exactly what I shall do. Achieving closure really works up an appetite.

all my love,


About alexinwonderland42

Alexandra Scott grew up on a cattle farm in Virginia and cut her teeth playing out as a teenager in the Charlottesville music scene of the late 90’s. She loved Suzanne Vega, the Replacements, Waylon Jennings and early R.E.M. One day she packed her truck and moved herself to New Orleans, where she met producer Tim Sommer (Duncan Sheik) with whom she made two records and formed the Eno-homage, drone-punk ensemble Hi-fi Sky. Her star was rising in the Crescent City in the summer of 2005. She played Bonnaroo that year and opened for LeAnn Rimes. Then a large hurricane named Katrina formed in the Gulf of Mexico. Alexandra evacuated the day before Katrina hit with her dog, her acoustic guitar, her baggiest pair of jeans and some t-shirts. For a while, that was all she had. Amidst the grief and chaos of that time, she found that there was something about the stripped-away-ness of it all that she liked. She ended up in New York City, and then in Canada, and then in Providence. She has a long list of states in which her dog has peed. Alexandra plays underground pop, a type of rock ‘n roll that’s been dubbed *dream-a-billy.* She likes to turn out slow, simple dance songs for long lonely nights to come. After three years of wandering, Alexandra moved back to New Orleans to recover from a bad knee injury that left her unable to tour & to live in the place she loves best. When not writing songs, Alexandra works on her novel, a ghost story set in New Orleans, acts in film and television projects, and plays with her dog, Jack.
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